still?


i dont know.


but the antibiotic for my stupid infection has tore my immune system down... so now i have a stomach bug and a cold as well. how does that work?



ill tell you how it works.


these things always happen to me. i have bad look. look? luck. i have bad luck. i mean, i guess everyone thinks that its always them, but...


its always me!


i mean, seriously. im the one last year that got ringworm all over my body.
and im the one it wouldnt leave.
im the one that has a perfect circle for a scar on my thigh, right under the soffee short line.

im the one who got ringworm again this year.
it went away this time.


im the one who has this stupid ass infection.
of which the details i will not go into.
it just causes me to be in considerable pain.



other things too. that i dont think i want to go into because they just suck too much.

and i cant remember then.


but then theres the one...
im the one who liked kris for a year and a half plus.
and im the one who got to be amazing friends with him.
and im the one who never hid anything.
im the one that was an open book.
so im the one who always told him i liked him.
and im the one who actually thought he liked me.
im the one who was dumb enough to fall for it.
even though im the one whod been talking to him for so long.
and now im the one he ignores.


and i was thinking this morning, when i was standing by myself in front of the school, and he was standing there too, with his friends, looking at me maybe sometimes, that girls complain about the guys they like not knowing they even existed.



i think its worse for him to know i exist, and just not care.

"i think its worse for him to know i exist, and just not care."
Omg. Exactly how i'm feeling right now.
That's why i am trying to "rehabilitate" myself into not liking him (since that's what 75% of my friends are telling me).
But now (with the influence of the 25% who tell me i'm overreacting), i'm not so sure if i should continue this "rehabilitation".
So what if he knows i admire him?
At least, someone admires him.
I'm just waiting for this to pass. Or whatever.
» frostbitten on 2007-02-19 09:01:38

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