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Coen Brothers' movies I need to see:
Blood Simple
Raising Arizona
Miller's Crossing
Barton Fink
The Hudsucker Proxy
Fargo
The Big Lebowski
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

The Man Who Wasn't There
Intolerable Cruelty
The Ladykillers
No Country for Old Men
Burn After Reading

A Serious Man
Chuck Palahniuk Books I want to read and own:
Bold = own.

Fight Club
Invisible Monsters
Survivor

Choke
Lullaby
Diary
Haunted
Rant
Snuff
Pygmy
grumpy grumpy grumpy pissed
Thursday. 11.26.09 12:13 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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things I will be staying away from:
Saturday. 11.21.09 6:15 pm
liquor
drugs
men
my phone.





worst night ever.

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oh hey guys, I'm 18 now.
Tuesday. 11.10.09 8:30 am
forgot to tell you.

also, talk about a crazy effing weekend.
wish I could turn 18 again, so I could fix it.

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A couple of weeks ago, I was having a bad morning, so I sat down
Monday. 11.2.09 10:39 pm
and did some soul searching. I covered a whole page of notebook paper with things about myself. Secrets and obvious things. Funny things, serious things, sad things. Admissions, confessions, annoyances. Things I don't even remember now. I put it in a letter and sent it to my friend Joe, who I've been corresponding with through snail mail the last month or two. He recently wrote back:

"Finally, in regards to your soul searching note, I think it's really cool that you would share something like that with me. I'm still rereading it Some of the things you wrote are very thought provoking. There's a program that my high school is getting involved with. It's called Rachel's challenge It's named for Rachel Scott, a girl who was shot at Columbine. It's about seeing past people's exteriors to try to give them more of a chance as a person with a soul. That, in conjunction with your letter, has me thinking about so much right now. For example, how people can act one way yet think another. There is almost nothing in your letter that I would've ever known about you if we hadn't spoken after HSSP, or if we hadn't gone to HSSP in the first place. Do you believe that things happen for a reason? Is there some cosmic force that influences people's lives or does everything just happen with no meaning and no plan? I personally believe that it's both. There are too many coincidences in life for things to be all random, but there's enough pointlessness and wasted effort and pain and loss and grief and suffering that I don't see how everything could all be part of some grand plan."

It struck me as beautiful, especially that italicized part. And it made me glad that something about me could make him think so much. And it made me want to know everything about him, every part of him, who he is and why he is and how he is. And it made me want to share myself with him, too.

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I'm sorry.
Monday. 10.19.09 11:22 pm
I'm such an awful blogger.

I just haven't had the will power to do any of this.
Or to write my college essays.
Or anything.


I'm going to California this weekend. Ohh yayz. :]

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say hello to LHS's new speech and debate president.
Wednesday. 9.23.09 9:40 pm
"hello."

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